Alternative lifestyles fall into a number of categories as they relate to human sexuality. For example, the Polyamorous movement has attracted a great many people who wish to simultaneously engage in more than one relationship. This is a lifestyle choice for many singles who do not feel bound by monogamous cultural mores.
Some religions have historically condoned polygamy as a part of church doctrine. For married or co-habitating couples, the polyamorous lifestyle has taken on a different moniker than “swinging.” Polyamory literally means “many loves.” By contrast, swinging focuses on lust more than love for others.
Dealing with the physical and emotional issues that can arise under these alternative lifestyle scenarios should be something a knowledgable sex therapist is prepared to address and advise with an open-mind–not clouded or conflicted by inappropriate and unnecessary moralistic judgments that impair the ability to offer objective, therapeutic treatment to those in need.
I am friendly to those who are monogamous, polyamorous, in open relationships, swinging lifestyle and other alternative lifestyles. I regularly deal with open marriages, swinging and polyamory. Some couples move from one choice to another with my guidance. I am not judgmental, and I offer out-of-the-box suggestions to improve a marriage or another intimate bond. Many of my clients first went to a moralistic counselor, only to find that they could not make progress because of the counselor’s judgments. I offer an open-minded and imaginative option to moralistic counselors.
I do not advocate for any one sexual choice. Instead, I present options with all the pluses and minuses for each. Relationships are not static states. We move through a journey as an unending process. Lloyds of London cannot insure marriage or love. No one can. We take a risk when we are intimate, but the risk is well worth the risk. All sexual choices involve some risk–and some rewards.
Relationships are complicated. This applies to monogamy as well as non-monogamous choices. There is a delicate balance here. If we want complete security, we may sacrifice excitement and passion. Some of these realities are addressed in Esther Perel’s excellent book, Mating in Captivity. I deal with all of these nuances in my couples therapy, and in my homework and home-play assignments between sessions.