Are You Longing To Connect With Your Partner Again?
Are you struggling to communicate with your partner, wondering why you can’t talk as easily as you did early in your relationship? Do kids, careers and the responsibilities of daily life make it difficult to find the time to connect with each other? Perhaps you’re finding it difficult to maintain balance in your life, get your needs met or meet your partner’s needs.
Are problems with your relationship impacting your sex life or making it difficult to feel affectionate toward or intimate with each other? Are you avoiding talking about certain issues, such as values, parenting styles or financial responsibilities? Are you working so much that you neglect spending intimate time with your significant other? Maybe you don’t have the amount of real interaction that you used to experience. Do you wish you could reconnect with your partner and feel confident in your ability to work through your challenges as an effective team?
When the communication and connection in your relationship is strained, it can become increasingly challenging to work through both big and small issues. Perhaps conversations that used to go easily are now devolving into finger pointing and blame. You may find that you and your partner are having the same argument over and over without ever coming to effective or sustainable resolution. Or, maybe you’ve begun avoiding certain conversations or even each other in an attempt to avoid conflict. Whether you’re in heated arguments far too often or are ignoring the issues at hand, losing the ability to connect and communicate can lead to stress, frustration and loneliness.
Many Couples Experience Problems
Difficulties with communication and connection cause damage to many relationships. And, a growing disconnect can affect any couple, regardless of background. Disconnections may be as simple as feeling out of sync or they may be manifesting through severe arguments and resentment. Whatever the underlying cause, feeling like you can no longer connect with your significant other can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration and even fear.
Often it is not heated arguments, but rather something subtler that affects intimate relationships. A couple can believe their relationship is fine, but without any kind of intimacy or excitement involved, the relationship goes on autopilot and the thrill of being together begins to fade. Eventually, a couple can forget what it was like when they could relax and have fun together. When there is a lack of passion and joy, it becomes even more difficult to connect.
The stress of working and raising a family can also damage relationships. Fear of financial instability causes many couples to work long hours to ensure the future well-being of their family. Many times, even when the family is stable, one or both partners continue to work out of fear of losing money. This kind of stress, as well as other stressors, can damage every aspect of the relationship, from the emotional to the sexual.
Finally, many couples drift apart due to disconnections that our culture has created. The growth and overuse of technology has caused many to feel less connected than ever before. We often focus more on social media and surfing the Internet than the people around us. Additionally, if a couple connects mainly through technology, it can increase disconnection, because interaction that’s not face-to-face isn’t nearly as unifying or truly intimate.
The good news is that there is help and hope. With the guidance and support of an experienced couples therapist, you and your partner can get to the root of your issues and learn how to communicate and connect with ease and enjoyment again.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Reconnect With Your Partner
I focus on collaboration in my couples counseling sessions. Seeing each person individually initially is a vital step in understanding where the disconnection is stemming from. By beginning with individual sessions, I can understand what you both expect from the relationship and the specific issues that you are each experiencing in the relationship. After the initial sessions, we begin meeting together in order to create an individualized therapy plan that best addresses and supports you personalities, histories, needs and therapy goals.
My work with you goes beyond scheduled sessions. While many counselors will wait until the next session to continue therapy, I’ll encourage you to keep working on your relationship at home between sessions. I take a multimedia approach in the assigned work I offer, and will provide you with supports and practices from everything from keeping a journal to viewing videos. I will also ask you to schedule your own weekly time to discuss issues at home. Because of these additional activities, couples counseling with me is generally not a lengthy process. If both you and your partner are truly committed to improving your relationship and are willing to fully engage in the therapy process, you can build a stronger and more satisfying relationship fairly quickly.
Relationship problems can be challenging to discuss, which is why I create a relaxing environment free of judgment. I’ve also found that using humor can put everyone at ease. It’s important that you recover the fun in your relationship, and an environment that promotes laughter helps. I have been working with couples for 40 years, and I understand the complexity of relationship issues. By utilizing humor, years of experience and an individualized therapy plan, I can help you reconnect in your relationship.
You understand the couples counseling process a little more deeply now, but still may have questions or concerns, such as…
We don’t need help with our relationship. We can figure this out on our own.
If you are experiencing communication and connection issues, it is vital to the health of your relationship that you seek help. Most often, issues do not resolve themselves on their own and, in fact, can worsen if left unaddressed. By working with an experienced couples therapist and using an effective approach, it is possible to restore the connection in your relationship.
We’re concerned about costs and time required of couples counseling.
Your relationship is something worth investing in. If you truly value your future with your significant other, you need to invest in it. Additionally, my work with couples is usually short-term and can be completed relatively quickly if you both commit to the work both in and out of my office. I offer receipts, which usually get some reimbursement out of network with your insurance. Most insurances cover about half my fee out of network. I can help you navigate the insurance issue.
My partner does not want to come to couples counseling sessions.
It is very important that I see both of you to determine the underlying issues in your relationship. What you’re experiencing is a shared problem, and I need to understand the expectations and concerns of both individuals. By meeting with each person separately before I see you in a session together, I am able to determine the cause of your issues more effectively. Sometimes I see one partner at first when the other partner refuses to come in. Explaining how important collaboration is to reconnecting your relationship may help your significant other understand the need for her/his participation.
Your relationship is very important. Please feel free to call me at 206-244-8788 to set up an appointment. I am happy to answer any questions you have about my practice or couples counseling.
I emphasize not blaming each other, as all this results in is spinning your wheels in the proverbial sand.
I work with all couples, heterosexual, gay and lesbian, monogamous couples, those in open marriages, those who are polyamorous or swingers, etc. I am not here to judge, but to help people improve their intimacy and their fun through couples counseling.